Hello Friends— I’ve been quiet, I know.
I’ve been trying to stay active on my LinkedIn page, but my hopes for a calm and peaceful start to 2021 lasted— well, about 12 hours.
I lost a friend of mine on January 8th, Mary Jane Duffy, to cancer.
Mary Jane was a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a cousin, and a friend to many. She was 54 years old.
I know I typically write about HR-related topics, but I wanted to share with you a little bit about my friend.
I first met Mary Jane through our daughters’ pre-school. She has twin girls, the same age as my oldest daughter (9). IYKYK, but when kids start school— parents get thrown into this weird version of grown up parent dating when it comes to other parents. You scope out the other kids, check out their parents and you’re kind of assessing who you might want to grab a drink with.
You know the bday party invites, the playdates, are going to come— so you’re just hoping that you meet some others who might be like-minded.
Mary Jane and I — I’m not sure if it weren’t for our kids, that we would’ve gravitated naturally toward each other. To be sure, we were polar opposites on the surface— she was an artist by trade, gentle and creative— endless kindness with a sly wit. For those of you who know me personally, you know those are probably not the first attributes that come to the forefront.
But over the years— we became friends, bonded by motherhood and the trials of having little girls. She loved her twins and I always was amazed at how committed she was navigating different playdates— she always sought out opportunities to ensure they had independent time with different friends.
She was a great listener, patiently listening to my grievances and was always a source of quiet, steady support. When she first received her cancer diagnosis, less than a year ago— just as we heading into our first covid “lockdown”, she was determined to fight and persevere. I think how scared she must have been going into treatments alone— in the face of a rapidly spreading pandemic, and how surreal that must have been for her.
They say you don’t know your strength until its been tested. I think we all took a big exhale when she was declared to be in remission by the early fall, only to be told that it had spread a month later.
We thought she had a year, which as it turned out— was only a couple of months. Shortly after Christmas, her condition deteriorated and she was hospitalized. Within a week she was discharged, back at home under hospice care.
I last saw my friend was this New Year’s Day— January 1st, 2021.
She passed away one week later, on a Friday morning.
That was one month ago, to this day.
As it goes, life moves forward even when our worlds have been shattered. With everything else going on in the world, I needed some time to process and grieve.
I think of her often. Her life, her legacy, and how I will miss her friendship. Her unique perspective.
Friends, live well and try and laugh as often as you can.
Jean
Mary Jane Duffy | June 27, 1966 - January 8, 2021