Friends!
Officially 20 days until we can say “hindsight is 20/20”…and it will actually be TRUE! Cue up the memes, I know you will have some good ones.
But before we move on to 2021 intentions… 2020, I ain’t done with you yet!
Before I launched this business and this blog, I was living the proverbial “life”, aka enjoying my career sabbatical— after having closed out, what I humbly think, was a nice 18 year run at GE.
One of the things I firmly believe— is to try some unexpected things from time to time. Maybe it is something creative, maybe it is road biking, maybe it’s taking a hike at the local state park you’ve been meaning to go to, but more than anything, something different. Your personal bucket list, if you will.
Not only does it scratch an itch that probably has been around awhile— I know I ALWAYS take away something from the experience that helps me in another part of my life— whether it’s being a leader, an employee, a spouse, a mother, or a friend.
With that-- ON to the mat!
Karin Dabrowski - great teacher, a better friend!
I’ve been practicing pilates for awhile now for about 6 years now. This is Karin— one of my good buds and a GREAT pilates instructor. When I met her at my gym, she was the first teacher that got me hooked.
About Pilates… if you don’t know— here’s a quick drop:
Once upon a time there was a German guy named Joseph Pilates, who grew up as a sickly kid. His father introduces him to body building, gymnastics and he begins the studying the science of movement, yoga, the movement of animals. He then begins to develop his practice of a series of exercises, which he names “Contrology”.
He is interned during WWI and starts teaching the exercises to other soldiers, eventually moves to the US, marries, opens up his own studio in NYC, and the performing arts/ dancing community become his first students and devotees. Thus— pilates is born!
Here’s what I like about pilates (yes, I promise this is leading up to the lessons):
It requires focus and active listening.
For me, I loved to run because it felt like I was meditating with one foot in front of the other. Pilates is quite the opposite for me…it requires so much focus. I think the closest thing I can compare pilates to is trying to hit a golf ball— you’re checking your posture, your breathing, the angle of your head/ neck, the speed of your movement. And somewhere along the way— everything else you were thinking about, quickly drops by the wayside.
It tests the limits of your body. It also brings awareness.
Have you have thought how high your shoulders are hiked up on a daily basis? Do you have lower back pain since you had a baby (ME) and realized your back is the symptom and likely not the cause?
It is a practice you cultivate over time, that keeps evolving. You know how house plants are all the rage now? That’s kind of how I feel about my pilates practice, the more you take care of yourself— the more it flourishes and grows.
So December 2019, while I’m on vacation, I decide that I’m going to give pilates teacher training a go. I make the decision — with the intention that I want to deepen my own knowledge and practice and will decide later if I want to become a certified instructor.
Teacher Training | Day 1
I enter the studio. There are about 14 of us, ranging in age from 20-42.
(yes, if you’re wondering, I was the 42-year-old)
Everyone is slender. Flexible. Fit. Shit.
A couple of dance students. A physical therapist. A aerial yoga instructor. A couple of professionals. An actor. One other new mom.
She is a young new mom. I notice she is eating those lovely blended smoothies and I am eating fistfuls of peanut butter pretzels (because protein!) I am the “old” new mom.
In the Corporate World, I was typically the youngest person in the room. It hadn’t dawned on me that the other students may not be just like me. And it just started feeling a little bit… odd.
Fish out of water.
Here I am, starting the day with a little diaphragmatic breathing.
(note: I am EXCELLENT at diaphragmatic breathing)
February 2020 … @Core Chicago Pilates | First weekend of pilates teacher training by @The Lab
Now, I have to stop RIGHT HERE and say for the record— everyone was so lovely.
I learned so much from the other participants. I marvelled at their strength and flexibility. I wish I had known 20 years prior that my flexibility would evaporate and that I should have tried harder to maintain it.
But at the time, I was jealous and was feeling very OLD. No shortage of negative self-talk on my end at all. None.
We got right into the training modules — which is probably 80% practice and 20% anatomical knowledge, “the head is connected to the neck bone” type thing— the book stuff.
I figured, “no problem, I can memorize that.”
But the actual exercises— the practicing, the team teaching, was intense and humbling.
There is one Pilates exercise, called the “Roll Up”, that has long been my nemesis.
Done properly, it looks like this below. Looks pretty simple, right?
My nemesis - the Roll Up
Using your core muscles, inner thighs, and the flexibility of your spine- it is a bit like an unassisted sit up.
Except there is nothing for your feet to push against, no swinging your arms to use momentum.
In my 6 years of practicing pilates, I’ve maybe been “successful” 10 times. It’s not for lack of trying, because god only knows I’ve tried every which way— and if you look VERY closely, it requires the full length of your spine to connect with the mat in order to complete the movement.
When I attempt a roll up, you’d see my lumbar spine (or the area just a bit lower than my waist)— NOT connecting to the mat as it should. (contrary to what the picture shows)
No matter how hard I try, I can’t get it to connect fully to the mat. You would not see my lower spine touching at all.
I don’t know if this is simply my anatomy or having two kids shifted something— but it is incredibly difficult for me. AND SUPER FRUSTRATING!
So during training, it’s time for the Roll Up and I am like— “I’m gonna DO THIS!”
And I took a big I N H A L E, and I start to roll….
And I just kind of laid there.
Nothing moved. No unicorns. I was embarrassed. I try and make a lame joke to hide my discouragement.
Worse, our instructor could see my struggle and came over to help me.
If the reformer could snap shut on me, I would have been ok with that.
Instead of dying at the jaws of a reformer, she grabbed a small foam pad. It was maybe 1cm wide. So— very, very thin, actually.
Then she asked me to come to the front of the studio to demonstrate. I laid myself down on the mat and followed her cues.
Tried to roll up and… NOTHING. NADA.
It’s not like it is in the movies, folks.
I know you really wanted the happy ending here. But no.
***my inner pilates self*** dying. Again.
Then, she placed the foam mat just under the small of my back.
Again, the mat is so thin—- it’s likely that some of you ate a slice of toast this morning that is thicker!
She asked me to try again.
And…..
and then….
It was like a Christmas miracle. FIST PUMP! HIGH FIVE!
I was amazed. The class was pumped (or maybe I am over-dramatizing this a bit), but it was a great moment. Just like the end of “Remember the Titans”. #denzel
She explained that the use the pad (though small), allowed my spine to make enough contact and provide the feedback so I could complete the rollup.
She talked about the importance of making things accessible for clients, so they can feel successful in their practice.
And that was a moment for me… the concept of “accessibility.”
I had always associated the term “accessible” with “disability” or “disabled”. In fact, it seems silly and completely insensitive when I look back on it now.
In the office, I’d always assumed when someone didn’t understand something I was explaining or a viewpoint I was sharing— I would typically assume it was THEIR deficiency or THEIR lack of understanding.
But I know now that I was not making the project, topic, or subject accessible enough that they could follow me.
Instead of feeling successful in my presence; I allowed them to feel “less than”. Just like me, in front of all the young yoga instructors and dancers, who couldn’t roll up to save her life.
After my brief moment of glory, I wore my “I’m the old, inflexible one” like a badge of honor.
I gladly volunteered my abilities (or lack thereof) as a guinea pig since it was more likely their prospective clients would probably look more like me, than they did like them.
They asked me what felt comfortable when I practiced while I was pregnant. They didn’t know many people women get carpal tunnel when they’re pregnant and so we’d have to modify the exercise. And I found my strengths too, my years of practice coming in handy when working with some of the equipment— particularly as I was learning to “cue” exercises.
I think of the concept of “accessibility” in most everything I do now.
Professionally, I deal with tough topics— restructuring, mass layoffs, poor performance and now, more than ever, social justice topics— systemic racism, equity, unconscious bias, diversity/ inclusion. These are topics that make most people squirm. They are not comfortable to talk about. Particularly if you are not a BIPOC.
There are no clear answers. Lots of grey to muddle through.
But it is my job (in any setting!) to make those concepts accessible.
Accessible enough that there can be enough understanding;
accessible enough to be able to share feelings and conversations;
accessible enough to encourage risk taking in a safe place;
accessible enough so the person feels more confidence doing so;
and accessible enough so they will do something to move forward in their journey.
So the next time YOU get frustrated about someone not “getting it”— think of me.
Think of Jean, lookin’ like a fool trying to get my roll up right— and think of how you can help to make whatever “it” is, to be more accessible. In short, meet them where THEY are.
Some other things I’ve learned on the mat…
small adjustments can make a huge difference;
words matter;
expectation setting is a good thing!
I could probably keep going on what my pilates practice has taught me- so I’m thinking I’ll do a part 2 of “Lessons from the Mat”.
What a year it’s been, friends. Looking back on 2020 is going to take some time and space to process. (at least for me). So I’ll leave you with this— whatever you do today, I hope you can do something that moves you. Physically, spiritually, you take your pick.
Take a walk, get some air, get a stretch in… It doesn’t solve the world’s problems, but it does make a difference.
Be Well & Stay Well!
J
PS: Thanks to Jacquelyn Brennan and Holly Swanson of The Lab Pilates for their instruction! If you’re in Chicago— check out their studios, Pilates + Coffee and Core Chicago Pilates! #supportlocal #supportwomenownedbusinesses
PPS: And thanks to Karin D. for her friendship and gift of movement (even though your class was hard on Tuesday and now I cannot move!) I am telling you, she’s a pro!