2020 knows no bounds— it has challenged us as humans. Mentally, physically, emotionally.
And racially.
In America, the covid crisis became an accelerant spilled over the already deeply-seeded roots of racism.
The Black Lives Matter movement, which has already been around for quite some time (but still readily ignored by most with privilege), could not be denied any longer.
The death of George Floyd (and countless others before), has sparked an outpouring of public support for the Black and Brown communities which I hope, will evolve into substantive ACTION. But we are playing the long game, my friends.
I’ve received a couple of calls from clients and former HR colleagues over the past week. They’ve asked me for advice or just some time to think about how to appraoch the subject of diversity and racism, particularly with employees and within the confines of major corporations.
Am I flattered??? I should be, right?! I’m an HR person, a former diversity leader.
I got this.
Not even for a second.
I’m scared out of my mind. I do NOT know the Black/ Brown experience. I can’t even begin to know. Even if I wanted to, it is impossible.
I have experienced racism as an Asian-American, but I am also a recipient of privilege.
I know it’s not enough to be “woke”.
SO NOW WHAT?
It’s time to become a student again. Time to get curious about how we got here.
These are just some of the eye openers I’ve read, seen or heard. This is me trying to process my early learnings and how to face into my embarrassment for not doing more, sooner.
There are SO MANY resources out there—so if you want to chalk this up as one- by all mean, feel free.
But please understand, this is not a “how to”. You need to figure that out for yourself.
1) “Once you hurt someone, you can’t tell them how to heal”
I was watching the local news and I heard that from a protestor during an interview.
It pierced my heart as a statement of true empathy. In my mind, there is no “comeback”to that. You just need to let is wash over you. It pierced my heart.
I can’t get it out of my mind.
2) REPEATED TRAUMA Means you never get to heal
This was another TV interview I saw with a psychologist. I can’t remember the clinical term she used, but in essence, her message was this… (explained in my non-clinical way)
When you go through repeated trauma, it becomes harder to heal.
It seems obvious. But when you start to connect all of the dots, it becomes overwhelming to even think about, let alone living it.
If we think about the endless list of those who have died at the hands of another because of they are black— the repeated trauma of seeing those images and hearing the stories — it is devastating. For many non-POCs, these have been sad, but seperate, instances of violence.
But they have always been connected.
3) Racism is not binary…. it is a continnum.
This chart really opened up my eyes. Something clicked for me when I saw this chart. It’s hard to describe— call it fragility or feeling like an imposter (I am still working on my vocabuluary), but it made sense that 1)I can believe I’m good person, but 2) not be a true ally.
It also gave me some hope that if we all collectively keep shifting to the right, we may not all become allies and abolitionists, but the world would be better for it.
4) Sit Down, we’re gonna be here for awhile.
Listen. Read. Think.
“Just because you’re new to the fight, don’t mean that the fight is new. ”
5) It’s not too early
I have an 8-year-old daughter. I grappled with the decision if I should “shelter” her from the news… then I was watching the news on Sunday night and accidentally left the TV on.
She saw the looting and asked, “Mama, why is it so dirty everywhere?”
Well, that made up my mind pretty fact. I explained it all.
George Floyd’s death, how he died, how it was a policeman who killed him and why he was able to do it.
I asked her to always stand up for her friends, but especially her black friends. I asked her to name all of them for me. I told her that when people are hurt, they sometimes get angry and frustrated. She asked questions about Martin Luther King and we talked about Rosa Parks.
It wasn’t perfect, but it’s a start.
Another thing…. you have to commit.
This is the hardest part.
Have you seen this image that has been circulating around social media?
When I first saw it, it reminded me of my running days. I used to run quite a bit, back in the day.
I thought…
This period of learning and listening… it’s a marathon, not a sprint…
This is going to be hard.
I will feel uncomfortable, and I will make mistakes, but I know it will be worth it…
Reminded me of the times when I wanted to give up during the actual marathon, I kept repeating to myself
Just keep moving, Just keep moving. Foot on the gas. (even if there is no gas)
Then I thought…
Where are we right now along the marathon course?
I played this through my head.
Are we at the start line? No.
Are we in training mode? No.
I think we’ve just signed up for the race.
We have just decided that we’re in. We paid our race fee and we want to get started.
We are waiting for someone to give us the training plan— how many days do you run? What do you eat? What gear do you need? Where are the support systems? Who can I run with?
Fortunately, if you are actually planning on running a marathon, all of that exists.
And it is all pretty straight forward.
YOU need to do the hard work.
YOU need to do it with such discipline that it becomes “normal”
SOME of us may have a slight advantage in our learning because we have access and perhaps because it comes more naturally—
OTHERS will have to work 2x because they may have some challenges to overcome, mentally and physically.
That is where any semblance of the comparisons end, metaphorically.
Rooting out racism?
It is the opposite of straightforward. It is complex, nuanced and there is no real finish line, just an evolution. And hopefully— progress.
If you have decided you’re going to sign up for the race— I am glad.
I have too.
Thanks to all those who have shared their learnings. I’ve marked articles, watched videos, downloaded books. I’m going to take some time to absorb and observe— and then I will be ready to have some conversations.
We’ve all got a lot of work to do before we are ready for the Start Line.
I’ll see you there.
Be safe and stay well. (and wear a mask)
Jean