I read this article from Thrive Global this morning and I started cracking up.
I wasn’t laughing at the article— which is very good, and you should read it (!)- but because it reminded me of an experience with a leader I will never forget…
Years ago, I worked with this leader who was very smart , but very controlling.
He made the business a lot of money, but there were always questions about his leadership style. He created this weird vibe/ culture; at times I almost felt like his team was brainwashed. I always got politically correct answers, but something always felt…off.
If you weren’t with him, you were definitely against him. And because I might offered up a different idea, an alternate solution, or didn’t fall over myself to salute— by default, I was not on the right side of that line. But I really enjoyed his team—- they were very talented and a great group, so I kept trying to form as many meaningful relationships I could.
I always hesitated before I picked up one of his calls— just so I could mentally prepare myself for the onslaught. BTW- I’m sure he also hesitated before he called me. #becausemutualfeelings
We were catching up one day and I mentioned that I would be heading to Japan to visit the office there. I was going with another client I supported and I offered to meet with some of his team to capitalize on my time there.
Then— it started happening…
He started educating me on Japanese business etiquette. #forreal
“You have to greet people with a bow.”
“Do you know where to sit at the table?”
“Do you know you have to bring a gift.“
And so on….
Just a reminder, this is what I look like below. Also a couple of facts about me.
My last name is Suzuki.
I am Japanese American. 2nd Generation.
My parents were born in Japan.
I speak Japanese.
I stared at the phone and tried to figure out what to say.
Finally, I say,
“You know, Bill*, I’m actually Japanese. So, I’m familiar with the customs there.”
*not his real name
He stopped.
We ended the call shortly thereafter.
And I was like, “wow, that just happened.”
Let me be clear— when I think about the brief exchange, I just laugh because it was so utterly ridiculous.
The other thing I remember thinking is … why does he have this insane need to always be the smartest in the room?
He needed to be so right… ALL the time— that he tried to out-Japanese the Japanese woman. (is that even a thing??)
It’s not a competition folks. If you’re type-A, sometimes it’s hard to bring people along with you, but I promise if you do, you will learn and be all the better for it. Hire people who compliment your skills and knowledge. Seek out those who will constructively challenge. You will raise the collective bar.
For those in the US, enjoy your long holiday weekend! If I’m being honest, I just realized that Monday is Memorial Day.
To our Veterans, thank you for what you have given for our country.
Be safe & stay well,
Jean